if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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