every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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