just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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