I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
