Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
