apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
