I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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