bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
