U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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