You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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