Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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