We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
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