Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
