I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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