Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
