Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
