How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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