you guys were way drunker than both of me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
