I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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