If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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