You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
