One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
