What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
