No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Can I color on your dick again?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
