i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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