He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize