dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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