Sry I called you an 8
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
