The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
