how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
