last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
