did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
