Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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