don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
