Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
