I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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