Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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