How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize