As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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