): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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