My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
