Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you win again, gameday.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
