I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
