Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
