decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just high enough for therapy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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