We're facebook friends in real life
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
