I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
