I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
