is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
