hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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