you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
