This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
