When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize