I got chris browned last night
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
