only if we run a train.
done.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize