i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
