In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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