Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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