Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
