I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize