woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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