Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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