I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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