A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
