after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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