You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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